It has come to my attention that many of my readers don’t love America. How do I know this? On an average day, 500 people read my blog. Most of them are Americans. Or so their IPs claim.
Nevertheless, White Collar Crime Prof blog provides a list of legal defense funds for people that need money.
Obviously, if each of my readers was pro-America, they would donate at least $200,000 to, say the Alberto Gonzales defense fund, he would have $100,000,000, which would cover his reduced attorneys fees at White and Case, and maybe even buy some waterboards for children in Africa that must go waterboardless this year.
Nevertheless, many of my readers have come up with lame excuses for not donating. These include things below the fold:
I don’t have $200,000 to donate.
This is not an excuse. A real American would have this money. We didn't fight the British, French, indians, Germans, Vietnamese, Iraqis, Martians, Iranians, Nicaraguans, Spanish, southerners, Mexicans, Japanese, and Koreans so that you could make such stupid excuses.
Alberto Gonzales has ruined the US.
Again, not an excuse. Alberto Gonzales has worked for America his entire adult life. (Except when he was an office boy at Vinson & Elkins and stocked the conference rooms with gruel.)
Alberto Gonzales likes abortion.
Oh come on. We all know that references to abortion are either for humorous effect (i.e. according to Sarah Silverman “I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.”) or political effect (i.e. Rudy Giuliani says he would appoint “strict constructionist” judges without saying who the constitution would be construed against. I sure hope it is against individuals.)
Alberto Gonzales demoralized people in the Justice Department
No. Monica Goodling did. He had nothing to do with it. You must blame her. But she doesn’t need a legal defense fund.
I don’t know where to send my money to.
This is a good question. There does not seem to be a webpage. But, I am sure that you can send the check right to David Leitch. (Do not send cash. I don’t know if it is deductible or not. But a real American doesn’t care. They don't take tax deductions. If you donate less than $200,000 you are doing more harm to America than good. $200,000 won't pay for one associate.)
I want to donate to Bernie Kerik, instead.
I question your patriotism. Kerik didn’t go to law school. He isn’t a true American. But because it is Christmas, you can donate to him as well. See if I care. But, remember, god is watching you.