More on the citizenship test
Some people out there took issue with my comments about the new citizenship test. They said that I was only pointing out problems. Not solutions. Therefore, because I am a very good American (in fact, my coffee cup says “World’s Greatest American,”) I prove the following, better questions for the citizenship test:
- Explain why people that don’t work for at least two years at large law firms (as an associate, silly) are not true Americans.
- What right is definitely not contemplated by the Ninth Amendment?
- What percentage of Americans should be in jail?
- Which kinds of pornography are not protected by the First Amendment? Draw pictures if necessary.
- Which crimes is it okay to commit? A failure to give a specific answer will result in immediate rendition for torture by Syrians.
- What kinds of torture are acceptable forms of interrogation when practiced by real Americans?
- What are the effects of asserting the Fifth Amendment right to avoid compelled self-incrimination during a deposition?
- Who would Jesus hate?
- Write a sample dialogue that takes place at a yacht club that proves that you are not one of those people.
- Explain the contributions to American society of each of
these male-Americans:
- Explain the contributions to American society of each of
these female-Americans:
- Complete the sentence: The Fourteenth Amendment was never meant to apply to ____________________.
- Imagine that you are a prosecutor. What is the easiest way to increase a sentence without having to prove facts to a jury?
- In time of war, how best can you serve your new country? How can you best serve your country without risking injury?
- Which major political party has the blessing of god?
- Explain the difference between “Offenses to human dignity” and “Cruel and Unusual.”
- How many hours a week should the average American spend protesting for or against the right of others to have an abortion? Explain how much paperwork and who do you have to sleep with to get an abortion around here?
Comments